Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
look no pants
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
