just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize