And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
there is puke in my bra ... again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
