and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
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