Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
