he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
