I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize