So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
