i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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