By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
