i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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