sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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