I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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