yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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