Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
