yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just puked most of my soul out..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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