you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
