If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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