so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
