please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
