We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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