I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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