I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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