Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
