where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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