My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
