i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize