called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
