i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
