seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
