Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
