i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
only if we run a train.
done.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
