Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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