So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize