they need to just BURY HIM!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
