My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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