Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
