marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think my tv is drunk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
