i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
