I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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