i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
