You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
