I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
