I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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