She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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