the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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