all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He passed out mid-signature
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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