SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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