So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
