You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
