At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
