My sheets look like a crime scene.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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