This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
