listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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