why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
