My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont even know how to be here
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I party with great urgency now.
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