So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
