He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
