shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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