apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize