Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
