just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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