dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you inspire me to be a worse person
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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