I heard we made out
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
