Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
