no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
