tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize