maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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