he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize