Screwed.edu
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
