i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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