sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
operation have a gay friend backfired
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
