The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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