i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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