Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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