Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
