i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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