Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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