just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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