I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
ok first of all what the fuck
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
