Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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