dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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